these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
