OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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