bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Found your dick twin last night
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
