i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
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