I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
But break dance skills will only take you so far
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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