Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
