Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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