His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
And then he peed in my hair
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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