similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
