you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
