she peed on how many people?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
