Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
