We won't sleep together?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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