i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
