she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
