She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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