like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
