I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
