There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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