He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
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