I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
