i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
