Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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