hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
