escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
