come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
