OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
