I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
