Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
