he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Randomize
