Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just invented taco cereal.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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