he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
