"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
