Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
