A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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