Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Princesses don't give blow jobs
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
