My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize