youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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