You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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