3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
