So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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