he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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