he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
