The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
