hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
True strength comes from lack of pants
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
