I'm gonna have a badass scar
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
i think my cat just said my name.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
