absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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