I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
