what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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