We won't sleep together?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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