She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
