I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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