Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
