People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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