Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
