Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
