week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize