Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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