She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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