he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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