It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
