New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize