I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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