I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Pants are for mortals
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
