A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I will be naked everywhere
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
