im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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